LoveIsNotSelfish-marriage-the-counselor

Every human is inherently self-centered and self-conscious. Everyone intuitively wants the world to revolve around him or her.  That is the reason you hear words like me, myself, I and all other self identifying words in many conversations and relations. This obvious and daily evil is also present in marriage relationship and is often worse in consequence in marriage.

When a woman or man decides to be joined to his or her spouse, he or she has become one flesh with such a person. You have since that day entered a covenant of joint venture and not sole proprietorship. Couple must understand the implication and true identity of marriage, for them not to abuse or misrepresent the institution. Marriage is the union of you and your spouse. A union is a union – that is you have to be united and not divided. Anyone who is self centered and self conscious in a marriage relationship has taken the path of division in such a relationship.

This evil of selfishness has broken so many homes and relationships. You have to learn to sacrifice the rough edges in your life, to be able to be well united and grafted into the life that you and your spouse have agreed to live together. At this juncture, I will strongly recommend you to read my article on marriage is a joint venture and not a sole proprietorship to understand more about this point am making here.

The world cannot revolve around you, neither can you always have your way all the time. You have to learn to sacrifice together, to grow together and live in love together. It cannot be just him or her that is doing all the sacrificial exercises, it has to be a joint effort, for it to work. When I got married some years back I realized that Omolara is not all that I know her to be, there is another side to her that I have been seeing over the years. The side that is sacrificing, learning and growing for the future. In marriage, it is a different ball game, you have to change and it has to be for the purpose of growing together.

You have to come off all this self-centered attitude, which can only get you to the path of divorce. Let go of some things, you will not die and it does not mean you are a fool; rather it makes you wiser. A wise woman builds her home,while a foolish one tears hers down with her hands. Make a choice as to who you want to be!

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