The rate of divorce in our society and all across the globe is alarming and it makes many young people to ask: Can’t two grown up people just live together? What is difficult in that? I love him/her and she feels the same way about me, we can work things out. Many people have said these words to themselves and they still joined the statistics. The world over, people believe if I love him/her and she feels the same about me, we can work things out, but how many have been able to work things out? Food for thought: Is it really possible to work things out without joining the statistics?
Ask yourself this sincere question, can I be selfless? – Meaning can I esteem others above myself? Can I sacrifice for another without thank you? This is the beginning with you, and not the end. This question will help you to know the state of your heart as regards marriage. There is nothing that can be done well without proper understanding of the task and the reason for getting it done. Marriage is not about age, ethnicity, religion, family background, money, educational qualification or social status. If it is about money, the wealthy, the celebrities should stay married for life. If it’s about age, then there should be a vast number of old spinsters and bachelors making for good candidates of a successful marriage. Look all around you, is that the case?
This leads us to the all important question, what makes for a successful home? I will start by making reference to a statement I made early about the fact that there is nothing that can be done well without proper understanding of the task and the reason for getting it done. Understanding is the bedrock of excellence; no man/woman can excel in a venture, if he/she does not have adequate and relevant understanding in it. Understanding leads to excellence and in this context it is not an exemption. Understanding of the purpose, the fundamental elements and the key players in the institution is pivotal to the excellence that will exude out of the institution, when you enter into. We must embrace the truth and we must not sell it to mediocrity and ignorance. Understanding is the bedrock of a longstanding and happy marriage.
First, you must understand that marriage is a joint venture and not a sole proprietorship. What do I mean? Marriage takes a joint effort – just as in joint venture; you must both give your time, resources, and commitment. Note that the three aforementioned elements are carefully selected: time, resources and commitment. When there is an issue in these three areas, oftentimes, it leads to a separation (break-up) in the joint venture. A sole proprietor gives all the time, resources and commitment to his venture and he gets all the profit, he does not share; while in joint venture, the profit (joy) is shared. The understanding of joint venture as an example of the formation a marriage should take is critical to the success of the institution.
Humans are wired naturally to seek profit in every venture they are involved in – be it, business, employment, marriage, football, shopping or any other activity a man is involved actively in it for the goal. The profit can be given different names, but it is all derived for the human pleasure. Marriage is also a critical part of human activity that they desire to profit from. Another understanding you must acquire is the type of person you want to go into joint venture with – can you give the profit he/she is seeking? What is his/her purpose for going into joint venture with you? You must seek to know, it is very important! This understanding will build or break the relationship. Keep it at the back of your mind, that these understanding when gained before entering into the joint venture is the best and the easiest to handle.
THIS ARTICLE WILL BE CONCLUDED IN ANOTHER PIECE SOON. I hope you have something to take with you and work with for an outstanding marriage.