Communication is the bedrock of understanding in any relationship. Good and effective communication gives room for good understanding, and all things been equal, as successful relationship. On the flip side, poor and ineffective communication will produce poor understanding and this will cumulate to unsuccessful and failed relationship.

Communication must be effective for any marriage relationship to blossom and succeed. There are many spouses who do not understand their spouse because of poor communication. Communication is wholistic in nature. It has to do with:

1. Language 2. Mood 3. Feedback 4. Receiver 5. Sender


We must understand that the language we use in communicating is as important as the communication in itself. By language I do not mean your lingual Franca but here I mean the conversational trend and love language of your spouse. When she says yes in a certain way, you should be able to properly decode the other two sentences that are silent after the yes. When he nods after a question, you have to understand as His spouse the silent answers he is giving to your question, which is beyond the nod. Every human being as a conversational trend, just as they have a love language. The next important aspect of communicating with your spouse is the love language that he or she responds to. I will just mention a few here for the purpose of illustration. Some men and women receive love through service from their spouse, others through gifts, some prefer body contact, and others just love words. You must identify the love language of your spouse and relate with him or her based on this understanding.


Many spouses do not communicate effectively with their spouses because they can not understand their mood differences. Some wonder what just happened, he was just smiling with me, and so on. You must be a professional reading the mood differences of your spouse and be an emeritus professor at interpreting them. This is a critical tool for effective communication in marriage.


Communication without feedback is effort in futility. You must desire feedback from your spouse when communicating with him or her. Don’t be a radio with battery, just speaking and not getting any response. Feedback is crucial in marriage relationships, so as to be sure that you and your spouse are on the same page and on the same wave length in communication. This is not to encourage wives to be nagging their husbands or staying on their neck for. A response at all times. It is to call our consciousness to the role that language and mood plays in communication- when the aforementioned are in place, then the feedback can easily be gotten.

Receiver and Sender

In every communication, there is the receiver and then the sender. You must understand your role in communication and where your responsibility starts and stops. You are to determine the channel of communication as the sender and you must articulate your message in an unambiguous way for your receiver to properly decode and understand. Your spouse must not read any other meaning to your message than what you have intended to communicate to him or her. Meaning, you must choose carefully your channel of communication, so it does not corrupt your message in anyway and your choice of words must be clear, concise, and not ambiguous.

Stop and fix early, your poor communication and ineffective communicating style, before it is too late. I believe you have picked one or more points of reflection in this piece on communication, one of the reasons for failure in marriage. We are committed here to see to see you married and stay married, that is why we are communicating this truth. Please stop by the next article submission to read about another reason. Till then, stay in the truth!


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